Home life · Sex life

Map Matters

He’s not usually prone to insults, yet he shouted this at me earlier today as we turned into yet another road which deteriorated into a dirt track after about two miles. We’ve been to the wedding of one his friends and had to hire a car when we got over there, but unfortunately the hire car didn’t come with a satnav.

It had been the same on Saturday’s journey from the airport, but then he’d taken my inability to tell the quality of the local roads from a folding map in good humour. Now though, as it got nearer to our flight time back home, he was getting very irate and the insults were flowing.

“Turn it upside down! Sit on it! See if you can tell me what it says then??!!!”

Fortunately we arrived in time to catch our flight, but that’s as close as my husband and I have ever come to a fist-fight.
He’s no idea why he lost control like that, and has spent all evening apologising.

Now we’re back home, he’s done his best to make up for upsetting me by putting one of his assertions to the test.
As it turns out, if you turn him upside down and sit on him, he’s completely unable to say anything coherent at all.
Never mind give directions!

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